Inspire Me This Spokane

// A Daughter…omg.//

So we finally KNOW. It’s a girl….a GIRL! 

oh.man. My reaction? Absolute excitement followed by sheer terror. Not because of how she could be (cause she’ll be a perfect angel, RIGHT), but because I know the challenge will be on me. A mother to a daughter.

Don’t get me wrong, boys have lots of challenges all their own, but being a girl myself, I know! I know what lies ahead for me and little miss Too-too. With a boy at least I’d go in somewhat naive. But, I know about first periods, training bras, mean girls, body issues, fitting in, first loves, heart breaks, the hormones and so on. 

I was incredibly sensitive, empathetic, a bit (a LITTLE bit) dramatic, creative, wild, witty (mom, read that as smart-ass), curious, and caring girl. I know I was a challenge for my mom. We had a lot of cries. But she was always there, listened, and is now one of my best friends in life.

I’m 29 and I feel like I’ve only JUST gotten to a place where I own who I am, I occupy my space, and I accept my life, abilities, body, and quirks exactly as they are. And I know raising a daughter will make me question every thing I thought I knew about myself.

Will I be there for her how she needs? Will she be kind? Will she be adventurous? Will she be a mean girl or subject to them? What challenges and limitations will she face? Will I accidentally crush her spirit? Will I be able to build her back up again? Will I help her learn to fly on her own? Will she like me? Will she sing 80s power ballads in the car with me? Or will I just embarrass her most of the time? Will I know what to say when she’s hurt? Will I know what to say when she hurts me? Will I ever be able to protect her? Will she like sports? What if she’s into ballerinas and not fishing? Will she be an sytycd dance prodigy? ;)

What I do know…

- she has a dad who is perfect for loving a little girl. he already loves her fiercely. she has his heart.

- we will love her always with all we have

- she will be surrounded by strong, humble, confident, funny women in her aunt, grandmas, and friends

photo credit: 1. my iphone 2 and 3. www.tonhyakaeblog.com 

01 / 08
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18 weeks! (late on posting this) and tomorrow, gender reveal! Praying for a good update on a healthy baby tomorrow.

18 weeks! (late on posting this) and tomorrow, gender reveal! Praying for a good update on a healthy baby tomorrow.

30 / 07
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Things moms want but don't register for!

particularly numbers 1-3!

28 / 07
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(Source: textfromdog)

28 / 07
18,961 notes
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Pieces of my Week

Sorry no bump pics today! I overslept :P I’ll post one tomorrow, but for now here’s what this week looked like in my world. :)

1. Got to hang out with my favorite 10 month old and his cool parents. Photo taken in April at our wedding. Complements of www.tonhyakaeblog.com

2. Went to a cute Hungry Caterpillar themed baby shower.

3. Paid a visit to an old favorite - Ultimate Bagel - on Gonzaga’s campus

4. On set of a juice bar photo shoot; tasted some yummy juice & smoothies.

5. Me and my babe on Lake Coeur d’Alene. 

6. Took a cruise on Lake Coeur d’Alene for a summer work party.

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27 / 07
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“You were born with potential
You were born with goodness and trust
You were born with ideals and dreams
You were born with greatness
You were born with wings
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t
You have wings
Learn to use them and fly!”

- Rumi. Rumi was a 13th Century Sufi Mystic.

thedailylove.com
25 / 07
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“Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you’ve come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I’m always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you.”

- Esther Abraham-Hicks. Hicks is a an American inspirational speaker and best-selling author.

I aspire to live that quote.

http://thedailylove.com/
23 / 07
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Week 17 Interview How far along? 17 weeks 1 day Baby’s size? An turnip (who eats turnips?), 5 inches long. Read more.  Days until next doc appointment? Ultrasound in August, just had a check up on Tuesday! All looks good! Total weight gain/loss? Somewhere around 6-8 pounds.  Maternity clothes? You know it. Scored some cute maxi dresses this week! Stretch marks? Must we keep asking? :P Sleep: It’s good about every other night. When there’s no dogs barking, D snoring, or thunderstorms, heat waves…you get the picture. ;) Best moment this week: Hearing baby’s super strong heart beat! We love going to our monthly check ups. This week we made lots of progress researching Bradley class, hypnobirthing, doulas, yoga class, etc.  Movement: Still little pinches and jabs occasionally. I love it. Food cravings: Crazy for corn, more bagels. Wish more things sounded good. Usually at a loss when it comes time to eat. Anything make you queasy or sick? Back to smells bothering me this week. And “dirty” stuff really grosses me out…like garbage.  Have you started to show yet? Yep.   Missing anything? Today, it’s sleep. And my family and friends, who I will see real soon! Gender? Lots of girl guesses, but a couple boy votes this week. I have no idea.  Labor signs? Thankfully no. Belly button: In tact. Wedding rings on or off? Depends on the day. Happy or moody most of the time? Mostly happy but when I’m moody, I’m really moody like when our air conditioner wasn’t working.  Weekly symptoms: Started feeling waves of emotion, like we can communicate more with the baby with energy and voice. Had some fatigue this week, perhaps a growth spurt happening. Less heartburn, mostly just when I lay down at night. week 15 interview

Week 17 Interview

How far along? 17 weeks 1 day

Baby’s size? An turnip (who eats turnips?), 5 inches long. Read more. 

Days until next doc appointment? Ultrasound in August, just had a check up on Tuesday! All looks good!

Total weight gain/loss? Somewhere around 6-8 pounds. 

Maternity clothes? You know it. Scored some cute maxi dresses this week!

Stretch marks? Must we keep asking? :P

Sleep: It’s good about every other night. When there’s no dogs barking, D snoring, or thunderstorms, heat waves…you get the picture. ;)

Best moment this week: Hearing baby’s super strong heart beat! We love going to our monthly check ups. This week we made lots of progress researching Bradley class, hypnobirthing, doulas, yoga class, etc. 

Movement: Still little pinches and jabs occasionally. I love it.

Food cravings: Crazy for corn, more bagels. Wish more things sounded good. Usually at a loss when it comes time to eat.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Back to smells bothering me this week. And “dirty” stuff really grosses me out…like garbage. 

Have you started to show yet? Yep.  

Missing anything? Today, it’s sleep. And my family and friends, who I will see real soon!

Gender? Lots of girl guesses, but a couple boy votes this week. I have no idea. 

Labor signs? Thankfully no.

Belly button: In tact.

Wedding rings on or off? Depends on the day.

Happy or moody most of the time? Mostly happy but when I’m moody, I’m really moody like when our air conditioner wasn’t working. 

Weekly symptoms: Started feeling waves of emotion, like we can communicate more with the baby with energy and voice. Had some fatigue this week, perhaps a growth spurt happening. Less heartburn, mostly just when I lay down at night.

week 15 interview

20 / 07
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Pieces of my week - Happy Friday

1. Looking smaller than week 15. #bloating

2. Babes make me smile. #babybliss

3. Wedding video is done! #nostalgic

4. Where my car used to be. #towed

5. Yes, GIANT pile of laundry. #anotherday

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13 / 07
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// Mama said there’d be days//

It’s just one of those weeks. You know, where nothing will quite go your way?

Crazy unexpected bills, car towed with astronomical charges attached, work we banked on fell through, air conditioning barely works downstairs and not at all upstairs in sweltering heat, sweaty uncomfortable sleep in your living room… 

You get the idea.

A cup of tea....

But, today, I opened up my email and was greeted with The Daily Love. Oh you don’t subscribe? Well you should! I mean if you like a daily dose of positive energy and inspiration like I do.

Today Mastin reflects on coming so far from where he began. This quote got me:

“That ANYTHING is possible when you courageously and audaciously express yourself and who you are. That GRACE is real and that The Divine has our backs in every moment and at every step.

I see now that the only things ever truly blocking me from my dreams were a lack of belief in myself and the understanding that The Divine is real. I put my faith in my fears for many years and got so-so results. But the sense of freedom and self-respect that I feel today is something I have never felt before. I feel a sense of arrival. Not like I made it, but like I can FINALLY get started being me.”

It’s not a new idea, just perfectly timed.

It’s weeks like this and temporary situations in life that make it so easy for us to become victims. To maintain our status of FEAR.

When I look back at how much my life has changed in the last two years…it’s truly unbelievable. I know it’s because my heart was open and the Divine was at work. And now my job is different, my love is different, a baby will enter my life, and new ventures are underway.

While I can’t say I’m as fear-free as Mastin describes, I know I’m on my way. On my way to believing enough in myself and my dreams to see them come true.

Regardless of bad days, stay focused on that fact that sometimes things happen to clear out room for other greatness to step in. That’s how I ended up where I am today. I cannot let setbacks block my view from the long-term hopes and dreams my heart pines for.

If my life could manifest such change in just two years I can only try to imagine what is to come!

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photo credit: Tonhya Kae Photography

12 / 07
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